5 Pillars of Marriage, Muslims Should Know

Referring to Q.S ar-Rum [30]: 21, men in general both men and women yearn for their respective partners in order to obtain tranquility (sakinah), with the foundation of love and love (mawaddah) and love (rahmah) in his life. The peaceful purpose is closely related to things that are biological, economic, social, family (nasab), and moral-spiritual (din).

However, among these things, the Qur’an and hadith suggest that din-is the main purpose of marriage to achieve happiness in this world and the hereafter. Some verses of the Qur’an have given guidelines regarding this. The content of these verses is also a pillar or guideline of married life.

Pillar of Marriage: Mitsaqan Ghalizha

The meaning is to understand marriage as a strong and heavy pledge. This is contained in QS An Nisa: 21).

Marriage is an agreement between the two parties and a joint commitment that is realized by marriage contract.

Men and women who have become married means that they are bound by a solid covenant (mītsāqan ghalīzhan). The bond must be maintained, maintained, and preserved together throughout the life of marriage.

In fact, the bond in marriage is not only between husband and wife but a great covenant between husband and wife, so that the management of the household must be in the principle of “gather well or part well” because giving good treatment to the husband or wife is part of the teachings of piety to God almighty.


The meaning is paired. The couple’s relationship is complementary to each other. That is, husband and wife are each half of the other and perfect if the two are united and working together in order to achieve the purpose of marriage.

This is revealed in QS Al Baqarah: 187, that husband is clothing for wife and wife is clothing for husband (hunna libāsun lakum wa antum libāsun lahunna).

The picture reminds that husband and wife as a couple among them must warm each other, nurture, decorate, cover, perfect and glorify each other.

The Purpose of Marriage in Islam

Pillar of Marriage: Mu’asyarah bil ma’ruf

The meaning is the principle of marriage based on interspersion. The principle of interspersion between husband and wife is derived from the two previous pillars. This attitude is the most fundamental ethic in the relationship between husband and wife.

Fostering the principle of home-to-home upset will help maintain and live all the good that is a common goal. It is mentioned in QS An Nisa verse 19:

Advice applies both to wives and arbitrary prohibitions such as coercion, inheriting bodies, obstructing and taking the property of wives as is the custom of pre-Islamic Arab society described in the verse, giving a universal message that a man (husband) is not entitled to be arbitrary towards women (wives).

Similarly, the advice and prohibition applies to women (wives) to husbands. Wives are forbidden to force their husbands, and to deprive them of their property. Both husband and wife must behave well towards their spouse.

Pillars of Marriage: Deliberation

That is, always consult with a partner. Attitudes and behaviors to always consult or counsel and exchange opinions in deciding something in the household is very important.

Neither husband nor wife should be an authoritarian person and always impose will on their spouse. Everything, especially matters concerning spouses and families, cannot be decided on their own without involving and asking for opinions from the spouse.

The pillar for consultation is mentioned in QS Al Baqarah: 233. And weaning of children is only a matter of mutual concern.

Involving, inviting speech and deliberation is one form of recognition and appreciation of the self-esteem and ability of the partner.

With the different points of view used in looking at a problem by a partner will make the decision very mature with a full awareness of the benefits and consequences resulting from the decision.


It means comforting each other. The Qur’an discusses it with tarādhin min humā which is willingness and acceptance from both sides.

Willingness is the ultimate acceptance and gives rise to complete comfort. Married couples should make this pillar a buffer of all aspects of good behavior, speech, attitude and actions so that the household is not only sturdy but provides happiness and love.

The basis is QS Al Baqarah: 233, i.e. in child weaning alone must be based on willingness between the two sides, let alone for things in a more basic life. So that in the household is created a heavenly life that provides tranquility and comfort for husband and wife.

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